It is getting increasing difficult to have a satirical outlook each day during this political season. Sometimes circumstances are too bizarre to be comical. For example, I am somewhat appalled at the apparent lack of consequences in our new world order.

In my “Leave it to Beaver” world, you break a neighbor’s window with a baseball; you mowed her lawn for a month… that sort of consequences.

This being an election year, you can expect a lot of things to go unpunished. If I were Governor Blagojevich, I would have waited to sell Obama’s senate seat this year and he might still be shopping for hair care products.

I guess our Attorney General, Eric Holder got the memo. His department can release assault weapons throughout the “neighborhood” killing innocent people, his underlings have to quit their jobs and he doesn’t even get his “employee of the month” parking pass taken away?

The Health and Human Services Secretary, Kathleen Sebelius violates federal law (Hatch Act) by campaigning for Obama during an event and gets a “time out”?  It seems in Washington D.C. you can operate in a vacuum where normal rules don’t seem to apply.

President Obama stated when he first took office that these types of tactics were not to be tolerated under his new administration. He was going to be transparent. Well that lasted as long as the flowers at his inauguration.

Regardless of our political affiliation, we should have a very low tolerance for corruptness in any form whether in business or public office. It is getting so bad that finding an honest politician is like finding a Republican in Hollywood.

To tolerate corruptness because your side is the one who is doing it is how brutish dictatorships first take hold. It sends a message that you are not guided by any moral or social imperatives that governs our every day interactions.

Our society is a web of interdependency if you will, of free thinking individuals governed by accepted societal norms. Without this, we are a lawless and corrupt society that bends under the thumb of those who would seek to oppress us.

When President Nixon was first caught during Watergate, public pressure forced him from office. The public was astonished that a President would be involved in such dealings. No more.

I believe many Democrats and Republicans share a common interest in preserving American values and the rule of law. Yes, there are fringe elements that may coop our party platforms from time to time.

I still would like to believe, with a plethora of media outlets and choices, that the truth is still a commodity to value and that your word is not something to be taken lightly during an election year.

I would like for a politician to hug a soldier or a sick child and that no cameras were around to record the event. I am wary of images that can be manipulated. We have been conditioned for so long with others trying to shape the message to suit an agenda. I won’t fall for it and neither should you.

They say courage is something you do when no one is looking. I believe that truth is something you do regardless of the circumstances. I was told once, by an angry person, that the truth wasn’t important but that people’s perception of me was the thing that matters. I told him he was free to spread whatever lies because I know truth ultimately wins out.

That is an incredibly naïve statement in our day and age because we see numerous recent examples where this was not true. It is no wonder than that people continue to go down this path where consequences are few and the end results are so huge.

I know when the election rolls around, my vote will be cast not on any one issue over another. It will be based on which candidate exemplifies the best character or integrity that our future generations can emulate.

It is not about justifying transgressions or advancing a cause mired in distortions and inaccuracies. It is never about promoting an agenda at the cost of other people’s freedoms.  History is replete with examples of this Greek tragedy.

It is a very fine line to walk. A wise man once told me he would rather have an honest nickel than a dishonest dollar. I wish for each of you plenty of nickels during this political season.

One of the first things you learn in school is if you want to know the answer, you have to ask the right question. Our leaders seem to like us walking about dazed and confused.

We do seem somewhat complacent and not overly concerned about another possible recession, looming high unemployment and foreclosure rates.  Media outlets and the current administration like to dress up words like recession and replace it with “negative growth” – sort of an oxymoron like “Jumbo shrimp”.

I also like how the media reports that stores are no longer “going out of business”  but are simply having their former employees “undergo job retraining”.

The United Nations has gotten into the spirit and “Poverty Stricken” nations are now referred as “Developing Nations” . They still have the same problems with poverty, hunger and homelessness but it sounds much better and is less offensive to our delicate sensibilities.

I get a lot of useful information not from the media but where it matters the most, from my local drug store.

I was shopping for shaving crème when I noticed this growing trend on the men’s aisle. Did you know that men’s skin care products are the fastest growing category in the cosmetics industry?

The same aisle has a variety of hair products to cover graying hair including one called “Just for Men”.  I’m glad that they pointed that out since I wouldn’t want to use a hair product that was “Just for Women”.

So why is it that you can buy soap and shampoos that work well for either sexes but when you color your hair you have to use a “gender specific” product?  They have a new one now that only “partially” covers gray so you don’t walk around with “Wayne Newton hair”.  They charge more for this product that doesn’t work as well.

They also sell balding products with before and after photos of guys who now have a head resembling a Shih Tzu. They also sell other products to remove hair that is geographically undesirable.

I am delighted to know that in spite of our many fiscal woes, we live in a country where people have the disposable incomes to add, remove or color body hair while other countries are having difficulties securing meat products for their dining table if they have one.

It says a lot about what is right with our country when we can obsess about growing hair in certain places and not growing it in others.  We may not have a Congress that can spend less than what it brings in but we certainly have soft, silky skin and beautiful hair.

We may have people out of work but you can still buy any number of skin products to keep our skin soft and supple while we are standing on a hot street corner with a cardboard sign and a tin bucket. Try that in Cuba or North Korea!

So our Congress can be excused somewhat if they feel like playing with sharp objects while we are standing on a life raft adrift in a sea of debt.  Our legislators are now asking for “additional revenues” which simply means tax increases. On 12/31/2012, the Bush tax cuts will expire with an alarming lack of clarity and non-partisan reporting on this issue.

The Tax Policy Center, a non-partisan joint venture stated that 83% of all household would be adversely affected and the Congressional Budget Office, which reports to Congress and the administration, confirmed that failure to extend these tax cuts to all Americans could lead to a recession.

This blog is not about who pays their fair share but goes to a basic concept that if you have $1 dollar in the bank, you don’t try to spend $1.40. Asking us for more money so they can continue this shell game is reason enough to replace them with someone who understands this simple math concept.

Yes, we can be seduced with the plethora of indispensible stuff on the shelves that we must have now and can pay for later.  I’m not sure I would like my kids, or their kids, to pay for a bottle of skin crème or hair product simply because I couldn’t demonstrate some restraint years earlier at the drug store.

Congress seems to disagree with me.

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I’m trying to get into the spirit of our present administration who recently assured us that the Universal Health care program was not a tax… only to find out later, it was.

I have some other great ideas I would like to contribute to help obfuscate our taxation issues even further.

A London study concluded with a profound statement that “Fat people actually eat more than thin people and they are less inclined to walk to places contributing to global warming.”   Yes, somebody was paid real money to study this.

I think the logical conclusion is that Obama should tax “fat” people more than skinny people. We should hit all those fat, greedy people in the wallet since they consume more than the government thinks they should.

I understand some schools are already trying to ban chocolate milk in schools because it makes our kids fat. I also read recently that the number of people living past 100 is booming to record levels in America.

So what is it really? Are we all just getting fat or are fat people just living longer?

But I digress. Don’t those meddlers know that they are depriving our government of future “Fat” taxes?

I notice that tall people also use more oxygen then shorter people since their hearts push higher levels of oxygen throughout their elongated circulatory systems. This extra usage increases carbon dioxide which is harmful to our mother earth.

I understand polar bears don’t have an iceberg to live on since we have too many fat and tall people in the world.  We can’t have that.  Tax them and maybe they will get the message.

I also remember the studies and articles that stated having children contributed to global warming.  The articles tried to make parents feel they were socially irresponsible by having children. Unfortunately this ill-timed study was conducted by individuals whose own parents didn’t heed this “sage” advice.

So if you choose to have more children than the government feels is socially responsible, you should pay a “kid” tax.  My parents unfortunately would have been in the “Donald Trump” tax bracket.

We all know cow flatulence contributes to global warming and  farmers should be taxed for having farting cows. Ireland and Denmark have already started doing it. The UN is recommending it and the EPA under the Clean Air Act was toying with a proposed fee of $175 per cow or $20 per pig. I guess pig flatulence has less of an environmental footprint than a cow.  Again, someone was paid real money to figure out the cost per fart of every barnyard animal.

Finally, I would like to address the evils of the Sun. The cost for treating melanoma, (skin cancer) is $1 billion annually.  The cost to Medicare is believed to be over $5 billion per year.

I don’t know why Obama didn’t think of this first, the “Sun” tax.

If you are inconsiderate by straying too long in the sun, you should pay an added tax for being a potential burden upon society.

Think of the millions of jobs the present administration could create by having the “Sun” police monitor how much sun we are using at the local beaches.  Use too much of the allotted sun, you pay a “sun” tax. Failure to pay that tax will land you in jail where you won’t get any sun.

I’m sure they will come up with another study that says every time you exhale you contribute to global warming.  If you happen to engage in excessive exhaling or go over your allotted breaths per day, expect to pay higher taxes for being a burden to the rest of us. I would call it the “breathing” tax.

Some of you may think that my satirical ramblings are nonsense.

Believe me, if cow flatulence is not off the table, nothing is.

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